Sweet Harmony

The principles of ungapatchka; paisley on paisley; anti-beige activism

Even though she eschewed the use of Yiddish in almost all circumstances, my mother did deploy one Yiddishism with regularity, precision, and gusto. The word was ungapatchka, an adjective that serves as an all-purpose criticism for anything overdone in a jarring fashion, the red hot chili pepper to the eye. For instance, a Tudor house with a brick walkway and copper Nantucket-style lighting fixtures: Ungapatchka. A plaid shirt with sequin embellishments (*ashamed to admit I almost purchased a shirt of this description today until I could imagine my mom declaring this*): Ungapatchka. A linen blouse with embroidery? Nice. A linen blouse with embroidery and a tie closure and an asymmetrical hem? Fucking ungapatchka. Even a hairdo, if it was fussy and complicated (let’s say a flip with bangs and feathering) could be ungapatchka. You never wanted to be ungapatchka, unless you went full-throttle, and piled on so much unga and patchka that you soared beyond mortal territory into a fashion demilitarized zone where more plus more plus more achieved an equilibrium.