I had the clock-face test in March, at my annual Medicare checkup. I was seated in this giant chair -- kinda reminded me of Lily Tomlin's "Ernestine" character's chair -- which did all these whiz-bang things like weigh me by slightly rising off the floor. The arms of the chair were enormous, with not-quite-flat four-inch padded arms. When the nurse handed me the clipboard and asked me to draw a clock face showing [some time or other], I struggled to balance my arm -- I'm left-handed -- in such a way that I could draw the damned thing. Then I got nervous, remembering my own analog watch on my right wrist, and didn't want her to think I was cheating, so I sort of tucked that wing under while I tried to both balance the clipboard and draw the clock without the pen skittering across the page. By the time I settled down and drew something clockish, it ended up with both clock hands the same length so I went over and over and over them to emphasize which was the hour and which, the minute hand. It looked ghastly but at that point I was already embarrassing myself with how long I was taking. Of course when I read the doctor's assessment of the test results -- "unsatisfactory" -- I was REALLY annoyed. I've been obsessively drawing clock faces on Post-Its and such ever since.
The Covenant of Water is truly wonderful. I too put off reading it as I am often disappointed by popular reading recommendations. Not in this case. In fact I then picked up Cutting for Stone. .
Hi Susan! Thanks for this lovely post and so sorry about your ankle! I’ve also been obsessed with (not) falling ever since… I tripped on the sidewalk in New Haven and fell smack on my face. I was very lucky; no broken teeth or stitches and my mouth has now healed. But my left arm is still oddly weak. I wrote about it and got lots of responses; apparently a lot of us are thinking about, or in fact falling. https://debbieweil.substack.com/p/shit-happens-i-fell-smack-on-my-face
Oh, Susan, I am terrified of this test! I just turned that dreaded "Medicare birthday" and my husband, who is 3 years older than I am, "warned" me that at my next physical I'll have to remember 3 words, etc. I'm one of those people who becomes a deer in the headlights when I can't recall the name of a film star in a movie and I'll say to (my hubby, or whoever) "You know the one I mean-- the one who starred with [e.g. that guy in the gangster movie, and she wears this terrific fur coat in the opening scene...]" And then I'll have to go into IMDB on my phone to dig up the only star whose name I do remember from the film, or the film itself, until I get the AHA moment of Barbara Stanwyck or Veronica Lake.
And speaking of falling down ... I have now graduated (sans diploma) from ostopenia to osteoporosis and am getting my first Reclast infusion tomorrow. From birth I've always had one hip higher than the other, and was born with club feet (corrected with Achilles tendon surgery), and although I learned how to fall onstage without injuring myself, I dread stepping into potholes and onto a wobbly wonky NYC pavement..
Many happy returns to one of my very favorite writers! Thank you for sharing your always-fun and interesting thoughts over lo these many years. Long may you reign, madame! You are the bomb...
Oh my... Challenges of growing older! At almost 82, I'm doing balance & strengthening exercises regularly these days! No medical test in BC Canada where I live for coverage. A portion of our taxes go to universal medical care. Not perfect, but... As for forgetting - sigh! Little inconsequential words stop me at times. .
I used to live in BC, but now live in the UK. We have the NHS, which is free at point of use, and boy, don't people use it? It's fantastic when it works, but is totally clapped out. It's good for emergencies (usually) but if you have a chronic condition, Heaven help you.
My blood boils at the clock test and tripping question. If asked, my three words might be "kiss my arse", "not your infant", or "you be loco"? I'm writing this as my 92 year old mother is declining from her final fall, of which there were dozens. If you're not 80+, be courageous! No insurance company ever really cared about you anyway. Lift weights and go live your life.
When was the last time I saw an analog clock? Probably 10 years ago. This "draw a clock" test is outdated, and the anxiety it and the 3-word "mini cognition test" cause older people isn't worth it. Seriously, this is a great example of why I don't go to doctors. If I fall and break something, I'll go. Otherwise, medicalizing aging is the absolute last thing I intend to do.
I have, so far, successfully refused to take that exam. If they would show me the words, I'd be fine, but I am not a good auditory learner and, frankly, I'm not willing to stress myself out about it, yet.
And falling? Hah! I have let it be known that if I die at home, it's either because I was outside and tripped over a hose or inside and tripped over a dog.
Hi there! yes I have endured that stupid test and I actually accused the PA of running a secret study on aging and not compensating us for it, then she said I got a $50 card to Target to compensate me! So, what do I think about that? Hmmm I just wanted to warn you about the safety hazards associated with the neato skirt. Those pockets and pant loops along the hemline. If it were me I would probably catch them on something close to the ground and boom! Down I would go.
I had the clock-face test in March, at my annual Medicare checkup. I was seated in this giant chair -- kinda reminded me of Lily Tomlin's "Ernestine" character's chair -- which did all these whiz-bang things like weigh me by slightly rising off the floor. The arms of the chair were enormous, with not-quite-flat four-inch padded arms. When the nurse handed me the clipboard and asked me to draw a clock face showing [some time or other], I struggled to balance my arm -- I'm left-handed -- in such a way that I could draw the damned thing. Then I got nervous, remembering my own analog watch on my right wrist, and didn't want her to think I was cheating, so I sort of tucked that wing under while I tried to both balance the clipboard and draw the clock without the pen skittering across the page. By the time I settled down and drew something clockish, it ended up with both clock hands the same length so I went over and over and over them to emphasize which was the hour and which, the minute hand. It looked ghastly but at that point I was already embarrassing myself with how long I was taking. Of course when I read the doctor's assessment of the test results -- "unsatisfactory" -- I was REALLY annoyed. I've been obsessively drawing clock faces on Post-Its and such ever since.
The Covenant of Water is truly wonderful. I too put off reading it as I am often disappointed by popular reading recommendations. Not in this case. In fact I then picked up Cutting for Stone. .
Happy Birthday Halloween baby!
Hi Susan! Thanks for this lovely post and so sorry about your ankle! I’ve also been obsessed with (not) falling ever since… I tripped on the sidewalk in New Haven and fell smack on my face. I was very lucky; no broken teeth or stitches and my mouth has now healed. But my left arm is still oddly weak. I wrote about it and got lots of responses; apparently a lot of us are thinking about, or in fact falling. https://debbieweil.substack.com/p/shit-happens-i-fell-smack-on-my-face
Can't wait to read this, Debbie!
Yes, my sisters is a doc, and her advice to our mother is always: Don't fall. It's a terrible inciting incident in an aging person's story.
Happy upcoming birthday, Susan!
Halloween Baby here... :)
Oh, Susan, I am terrified of this test! I just turned that dreaded "Medicare birthday" and my husband, who is 3 years older than I am, "warned" me that at my next physical I'll have to remember 3 words, etc. I'm one of those people who becomes a deer in the headlights when I can't recall the name of a film star in a movie and I'll say to (my hubby, or whoever) "You know the one I mean-- the one who starred with [e.g. that guy in the gangster movie, and she wears this terrific fur coat in the opening scene...]" And then I'll have to go into IMDB on my phone to dig up the only star whose name I do remember from the film, or the film itself, until I get the AHA moment of Barbara Stanwyck or Veronica Lake.
And speaking of falling down ... I have now graduated (sans diploma) from ostopenia to osteoporosis and am getting my first Reclast infusion tomorrow. From birth I've always had one hip higher than the other, and was born with club feet (corrected with Achilles tendon surgery), and although I learned how to fall onstage without injuring myself, I dread stepping into potholes and onto a wobbly wonky NYC pavement..
Have no fear!!! You'll ace it!
Medicare annual exam- falling and and abuse obsessed, I too am that age…
I loved The Covenant of Water. And it’s worth the wait to see how the story draws together. Enjoy!
Many happy returns to one of my very favorite writers! Thank you for sharing your always-fun and interesting thoughts over lo these many years. Long may you reign, madame! You are the bomb...
Thank you!!!!!!!
Oh my... Challenges of growing older! At almost 82, I'm doing balance & strengthening exercises regularly these days! No medical test in BC Canada where I live for coverage. A portion of our taxes go to universal medical care. Not perfect, but... As for forgetting - sigh! Little inconsequential words stop me at times. .
I used to live in BC, but now live in the UK. We have the NHS, which is free at point of use, and boy, don't people use it? It's fantastic when it works, but is totally clapped out. It's good for emergencies (usually) but if you have a chronic condition, Heaven help you.
My blood boils at the clock test and tripping question. If asked, my three words might be "kiss my arse", "not your infant", or "you be loco"? I'm writing this as my 92 year old mother is declining from her final fall, of which there were dozens. If you're not 80+, be courageous! No insurance company ever really cared about you anyway. Lift weights and go live your life.
When was the last time I saw an analog clock? Probably 10 years ago. This "draw a clock" test is outdated, and the anxiety it and the 3-word "mini cognition test" cause older people isn't worth it. Seriously, this is a great example of why I don't go to doctors. If I fall and break something, I'll go. Otherwise, medicalizing aging is the absolute last thing I intend to do.
Actually I enjoyed asking digital or analog. No circle given to me.
I have, so far, successfully refused to take that exam. If they would show me the words, I'd be fine, but I am not a good auditory learner and, frankly, I'm not willing to stress myself out about it, yet.
And falling? Hah! I have let it be known that if I die at home, it's either because I was outside and tripped over a hose or inside and tripped over a dog.
Happy Birthday to a fellow Scorpio!
Have a splendid birthday! And that skirt is a fun one.
Hi there! yes I have endured that stupid test and I actually accused the PA of running a secret study on aging and not compensating us for it, then she said I got a $50 card to Target to compensate me! So, what do I think about that? Hmmm I just wanted to warn you about the safety hazards associated with the neato skirt. Those pockets and pant loops along the hemline. If it were me I would probably catch them on something close to the ground and boom! Down I would go.