Thanks for this story! I confess I was one of those teens with long, thick straight mostly brown hair, and I always received lots of compliments on my locks. I don't think I ever wanted different hair. Thing is, now that I'm older and grayer, I kind of wish I'd been more adventurous with my hair over my younger years. Had more fun with it, you know? I just rarely had the nerve to do anything different with it.
As a guy whose frizzy hair drove him to wear a stocking at night to straighten it, I resonate with you. But your red hair is gorgeous! I hope you know that. Great story!
The Wolf Hall trilogy -- like Susan, I listened to the audiobooks -- was my portal into the Mantel-verse. I recently listened to the posthumously published "A Memoir of My Former Self: A Life in Writing," which collects Mantel's film reviews and essays from nearly four decades. Her observations on royals alive and dead (some long dead, like Marie Antoinette) are sharp and revealing. And the narrators (there are three) are excellent.
Good reading. My mom has been coloring her hair red since she was in her late teens; she’s now in her mid eighties. Watching the process of her coloring and perming throughout the years made me decide to never be a slave to that. Too much time, effort, and money to spend on it. I’m strawberry blonde and inching towards silver. I’ve learned to accept the straight hair of my youth and enjoy the occasional curly waves as I age. Enjoy your hair!
I only recently learned of the bodily effects of red hair -- esp the resistance to anesthesia. It explains a lot for me -- I wish I'd known decades ago!
Re the Portage notebooks, I use and love them because ... ta da! ... they are perfect for left-handers! No spirals digging into our arms or hands whenever we start a fresh page.
It was my dentist who alerted me -- after I had a really hard time going numb during a procedure. She asked if red hair ran in my family (yes). Apparently, it's not as well known as it should be. Ya think?!?
I'm fond of the British term for redhead -- a "ginger," which I suppose might bring to mind a cat but for me, that's a compliment. I'm a fellow "ginger," an auburn, although now much faded and greying. Except for a period as a child when I fancied having jet black hair -- perhaps in response to having a mother and grandmother determined to dress me in pink which I knew DID NOT look well with my then brighter-red hair --I've always liked my hair color. However, I do remember clearly in college when a young man passing by me said, "You have beautiful eyes!" because all I ever got were comments on my hair!
Great reflection! I have never regretted being a redhead, even one who carried his violin to school every day. Mine was very straight and short - even in the late ‘60s when all the other guys grew their hair long, but as a surgical technician, I was not permitted to have long hair. By now, you are probably discovering one of the benefits of red hair: I am older than you, and still have no sign of gray or white hair.
Great piece, and I'm saying this as someone who has always had straight hair except for the brief, unfortunate time when I had a perm. You captured hair angst beautifully. I especially appreciated the irony at the end.
Fellow red-haired person here. Dark brunette-haired sister used to say I looked like Bozo the Clown when Midwestern summertime humidity would turn my hair into a mass of frizz. My mother agreed to straighten my hair using a home straightener. The smell (and the fact it was so temporary) convinced me never to try again. On the other hand, I am now in my 70s and have only a few random white hairs on my head. Victory! Apparently, we’re not alone.
What a fun piece. I identify with the straight, no volume, brown haired person. As a child, I desperately wanted volume and would turn my bangs into a curl "so stiff you could hang off it like a monkey bar" in order to achieve the proper "look" (It took vast amounts of Aquanet hairspray to succeed). I still highlight my hair... blondish in the spring/summer months... red tones (cowboy copper, I am told -- what will they think of next?!) in the fall/winter. It is a commitment, that time in the chair. It's also my self love time. I get 3-4 hours of adult chatter or book reading in and someone else is washing my scalp and tending to my coif, undoubtedly doing it better than I ever could. I appreciate the artistic outcome. Ah, heaven. The other 59 -75 days of the months in between, I do some version of the "bleep it" style with a mousse job straight out the shower and a messy bun plop to follow. =) Oh yes, and the curler? I still do it. Habits *dye* hard. <3
Great piece. And you should read some of Hilary Mantel’s writings in LRB, especially on Royal Bodies. I think there’s a recording of it available. A true genius.
I greatly enjoyed reading about your hair since for a long while we shared the same hairdresser, Robert. (I also greatly enjoyed that old profile you wrote about him for TNY; do you know where I can find that?) I have very thin hair, neither straight enough nor curly enough to ever make me happy. It used to be brown, but now that it’s grey I find I am much more accepting of it. Go figure 🤷♀️
I feel the very same way about the 20 pounds I have wrangled all my freaking life till I retired 3 yrs ago. It has ballooned to 50 pounds now and is never coming off but I don’t care. I accept it.
What an entertaining and insightful essay. Like you, I had the frustrating (or character-building, depending on how you look at it) experience of growing up with naturally curly hair. When I had it chemically straightened in my teens, it just revealed I had lots of thin strands—not ideal either for my pageant performances. As a coping mechanism, I decided that a spiral perm with highlights was a great idea—complete with hot rollers to add a special twist for big dates and special events. Oh my! Yet as I have battled cancer in the recent past & dealt with hair loss & changes in hair texture with my medications, it has cultivated a more balanced perspective. I never realized the emotional toll vanity took on my sense of well being. It is exhausting in retrospect! As I invest a great deal of energy in encouraging my students not to objectify their worth by such external standards, I recognize anew the need to internalize my own directives—no matter what my age!
Thanks for this story! I confess I was one of those teens with long, thick straight mostly brown hair, and I always received lots of compliments on my locks. I don't think I ever wanted different hair. Thing is, now that I'm older and grayer, I kind of wish I'd been more adventurous with my hair over my younger years. Had more fun with it, you know? I just rarely had the nerve to do anything different with it.
Such a great read, as always. I always look forward to the next!
As a guy whose frizzy hair drove him to wear a stocking at night to straighten it, I resonate with you. But your red hair is gorgeous! I hope you know that. Great story!
I LOVE your hair!!!!
The Wolf Hall trilogy -- like Susan, I listened to the audiobooks -- was my portal into the Mantel-verse. I recently listened to the posthumously published "A Memoir of My Former Self: A Life in Writing," which collects Mantel's film reviews and essays from nearly four decades. Her observations on royals alive and dead (some long dead, like Marie Antoinette) are sharp and revealing. And the narrators (there are three) are excellent.
Good reading. My mom has been coloring her hair red since she was in her late teens; she’s now in her mid eighties. Watching the process of her coloring and perming throughout the years made me decide to never be a slave to that. Too much time, effort, and money to spend on it. I’m strawberry blonde and inching towards silver. I’ve learned to accept the straight hair of my youth and enjoy the occasional curly waves as I age. Enjoy your hair!
I only recently learned of the bodily effects of red hair -- esp the resistance to anesthesia. It explains a lot for me -- I wish I'd known decades ago!
Re the Portage notebooks, I use and love them because ... ta da! ... they are perfect for left-handers! No spirals digging into our arms or hands whenever we start a fresh page.
I learned about the anesthesia thing….. just now! What???!
It was my dentist who alerted me -- after I had a really hard time going numb during a procedure. She asked if red hair ran in my family (yes). Apparently, it's not as well known as it should be. Ya think?!?
I'm fond of the British term for redhead -- a "ginger," which I suppose might bring to mind a cat but for me, that's a compliment. I'm a fellow "ginger," an auburn, although now much faded and greying. Except for a period as a child when I fancied having jet black hair -- perhaps in response to having a mother and grandmother determined to dress me in pink which I knew DID NOT look well with my then brighter-red hair --I've always liked my hair color. However, I do remember clearly in college when a young man passing by me said, "You have beautiful eyes!" because all I ever got were comments on my hair!
Great reflection! I have never regretted being a redhead, even one who carried his violin to school every day. Mine was very straight and short - even in the late ‘60s when all the other guys grew their hair long, but as a surgical technician, I was not permitted to have long hair. By now, you are probably discovering one of the benefits of red hair: I am older than you, and still have no sign of gray or white hair.
Great piece, and I'm saying this as someone who has always had straight hair except for the brief, unfortunate time when I had a perm. You captured hair angst beautifully. I especially appreciated the irony at the end.
Fellow red-haired person here. Dark brunette-haired sister used to say I looked like Bozo the Clown when Midwestern summertime humidity would turn my hair into a mass of frizz. My mother agreed to straighten my hair using a home straightener. The smell (and the fact it was so temporary) convinced me never to try again. On the other hand, I am now in my 70s and have only a few random white hairs on my head. Victory! Apparently, we’re not alone.
What a fun piece. I identify with the straight, no volume, brown haired person. As a child, I desperately wanted volume and would turn my bangs into a curl "so stiff you could hang off it like a monkey bar" in order to achieve the proper "look" (It took vast amounts of Aquanet hairspray to succeed). I still highlight my hair... blondish in the spring/summer months... red tones (cowboy copper, I am told -- what will they think of next?!) in the fall/winter. It is a commitment, that time in the chair. It's also my self love time. I get 3-4 hours of adult chatter or book reading in and someone else is washing my scalp and tending to my coif, undoubtedly doing it better than I ever could. I appreciate the artistic outcome. Ah, heaven. The other 59 -75 days of the months in between, I do some version of the "bleep it" style with a mousse job straight out the shower and a messy bun plop to follow. =) Oh yes, and the curler? I still do it. Habits *dye* hard. <3
Great piece. And you should read some of Hilary Mantel’s writings in LRB, especially on Royal Bodies. I think there’s a recording of it available. A true genius.
I greatly enjoyed reading about your hair since for a long while we shared the same hairdresser, Robert. (I also greatly enjoyed that old profile you wrote about him for TNY; do you know where I can find that?) I have very thin hair, neither straight enough nor curly enough to ever make me happy. It used to be brown, but now that it’s grey I find I am much more accepting of it. Go figure 🤷♀️
I feel the very same way about the 20 pounds I have wrangled all my freaking life till I retired 3 yrs ago. It has ballooned to 50 pounds now and is never coming off but I don’t care. I accept it.
What an entertaining and insightful essay. Like you, I had the frustrating (or character-building, depending on how you look at it) experience of growing up with naturally curly hair. When I had it chemically straightened in my teens, it just revealed I had lots of thin strands—not ideal either for my pageant performances. As a coping mechanism, I decided that a spiral perm with highlights was a great idea—complete with hot rollers to add a special twist for big dates and special events. Oh my! Yet as I have battled cancer in the recent past & dealt with hair loss & changes in hair texture with my medications, it has cultivated a more balanced perspective. I never realized the emotional toll vanity took on my sense of well being. It is exhausting in retrospect! As I invest a great deal of energy in encouraging my students not to objectify their worth by such external standards, I recognize anew the need to internalize my own directives—no matter what my age!